The Graduate

I have blogged about my Austin before. You know that I am a very proud mommy. This will be a gushing blog post, so if you aren't up for it, you might just want to click away.

There have been so many times in his short 18 years that I wondered what would happen in his future. Since we got his Autism diagnosos when he was 5, there have been so many times I didn't know what would happen with him. I still have some worries about what will happen next, but for now I will just think about his accomplishments in the last couple weeks.

The Sunday before school was over, Austin graduated from Seminary. He sacrificed one elective class period every sememter throughout his whole four years of high school to take seminary. He made this choice on his own without any pushing from us. He studied his scriptures, he participated in his class and he did all the work. But he wasn't the only kid to do it. Not only did every senior in our ward graduate with a four year certificate, every kid in our stake did! I am so proud of him and all of those kids. (I was Austin's cub scout leader for a couple years and Jim was the scoutmaster for those kids, so we know and love them all) Below are a few of those boys that we love so much. They have been great friends to Austin.

Then came the last week of school. Austin was in the End of Year Assembly. He loved being involved! He loved being in high school. He loved opening the door for everyone. He loved all the friends he made at Syracuse High School. I loved how they embraced him and his quirky ways.

Then came the big day... Graduation! So many people were involved in getting him to that day. I appreciate all of them and all they did to help get him to this. And not only get him there, he got there with his class and with a 3.5 GPA. He worked so hard! He loved seeing those A's on his report card. He's such a good boy!

Then it was time to celebrate! I told him I wanted to take him on a trip and he could choose where he wanted to go. And just like a "Disney Kindred Spirit", like a kid after my own heart, he chose Disneyland. He loves all things Disney, just like his mom, and that was where he really wanted to go. And it was worth every penny...

A lot of people don't like to go to Disneyland because of the crowds and the lines. I have never been in June because of that. But we went and we made sure we had plenty of time. We started with a visit with my dad, Austin's Papa Ralph. We went to an Angles game and then Papa dropped us off at our hotel. We checked in and went straight over to the parks. The lines were long but much more tollerable with an 18 year old than with toddlers. My favorite part of the trip was just watching his face as he experienced his old favorites and some of the new things. (California Adventure was still being built the last time we were at the Disneyland Resort in CA) He loved Sorin' over California, the new Little Mermaid ride and World of Color, the night time show. I enjoyed watching his face while he watched the parade down Main Street and when he met the characters at our breakfast in the park.

It was so fun for me to be able to spend some one on one time with my Austin, even though he almost ran me into the ground. (I had to recover for a few days after!) We are as close as two people can be when one of them has Autism. It was fun to be able to have little conversations with him, something that is not so easy to do. It was fun to be able to spoil him and let him make decisions about where to go and what to do on those days.

We aren't quite sure what is next for him. He wants to work with animals and he wants to serve a mission. We know what ever he does he will do his best and he will work very hard. He will make us proud as he has the last 18 years. We love him and we are so proud of him!

Inspired by My Sister, Cousin-in-Law and a Very Brave 15 Year Old

Josh has a friend named Maddie. They have been great friends for a very long time. A few months ago Maddie was diagnosed with Osteo Sarcoma... bone cancer. It was a shock to her family and her friends. Most 15 year old kids don't even know what cancer is, let alone have to deal with it first hand. I have been thinking about her and her family a lot over the past months. Even more since Josh came home last week and told me she is loosing her hair from her Chemotherapy treatments. I remember how much my hair meant to me at 15 and I don't think I would have loved going bald! I also thought about how lonely and bored she must be. She hasn't been able to go to school, she has to be very selective about her visitors so she doesn't catch anything, and she sleeps a lot. So she and Josh text a lot. I usually get on my boys for texting instead of doing homework (or other things they should be doing) but I let it slide a little when it is Maddie.

Josh and I have been spending a lot of time together lately. We have been able to have some good chats. I got the bright idea to help Josh make a little gift bag of things to take to Maddie. So through text messages we found out that she was currently in the hospital. We gathered some fun things together - books, coloring books, play-dough, bubbles and a hat I knitted. After church yesterday we headed down to Primary Children's Medical Center.

Josh was nervous. He didn't know what he was going to say or do. I assured him that even though she was not feeling well, she was still the same Maddie. We felt a little bad because she was sleeping when we got there but they said it was OK and we were able to have a really nice visit. Maddie's mom was so happy that we did. She told us that was the first time Maddie had smiled all day. She smiled especially big when she saw the Veggie Tales coloring book we got and when Josh got brave enough to sit by her for a picture.

We saw the x-rays and the MRI pictures. We learned that the cancer was confined to her femur and had not spread to any other parts of her body. Her prognosis is great and we hope and pray for the best for her.

That wasn't the case with Jim's cousin, Zac, who had the same cancer. I spoke with Jim's Aunt Sue this afternoon and she said it has been ten years since they first heard Zac's diagnosis. We talked about him and I told her how much our family has learned, and are still learning, from their wonderful example.

I know that there are lots of different endings to a story that starts with the words "Osteo Sarcoma". I know how I want Maddie's story to end. But I know even more deeply the importance of humbling ourselves enough to learn the lessons that we can learn from our trials. Our Heavenly Father loves us and will tell us what we are here to learn if we only ask. Chemotherapy makes you physically weak but this girl has a strong spirit. I could tell she got it from the wonderful example of her parents. I'm sure they will be strong. I am also sure they will know when to lean on others when their strength alone is not enough. Those others are out there just waiting to do good for others.

I try every day to be one of those people. The best example I had of this was, and still is, my big sister. She was the kindest, most giving person I have ever known. Over the last few years I have tried to be more like her. I feel like that is a one way I can keep her close to me even though she isn't physically here.

One of the things that we used to talk about was her anxiousness about turning 40. She wasn't looking forward to it. She passed away four months before she had to face it. (I sometimes think that is one of the first things I am going to ask her about when I see her again.) I, on the other hand, have been looking forward to my 40th birthday. I want to have super big party! I want to celebrate being alive and being able to be with my family and friends. But I have also been looking for something more meaningful to do to celebrate those 40 wonderful years.

Well, I think I have my idea. I was inspired by our visit with Maddie. One of the things we put in her gift bag was a hat I had knitted. They were so grateful and impressed. To me it was nothing. Just a few hours spent doing something I love to do. On the drive home, the thought came to me that there must be other kids at PCMC that have lost their hair for one reason or another. They must need a hat. I don't know how to cure cancer but I can knit.

My goal, starting today, on what would be my big sister's 45th birthday, is to knit 40 hats by my 40th birthday. Boy hats with skulls and crossbones and girl hats with flowers on them. All colors and all sizes.

It isn't much on my part. I can't take all the pain away from Maddie and her family. But maybe I can help some other little girl or boy feel better about going out in public when their illness has taken part of them away.

So, thank you, Uncle Rock, Aunt Sue and your whole family! Thank you, Lisa! Thanks for being shining examples to me and my family. Thank you for showing us what it is to be strong when life is hard. Thank you for inspiring those that know you to be better people because they know you.

And thank you, Maddie! Thanks for teaching me that, "When life gives you lemons, make grape juice and leave them wondering how you did it!"

Kids Say the Darnedest Things

Josh is my baby. But you wouldn't be able to tell by looking at him. In the last year he has grown about eight inches. I have to look up to yell at him! He has always been a bit of a handful. His attention span is nearly nonexistent. He doesn't really like to sit in one place for very long. He loves to do what he can to get a rise out of his older brothers. He is the typical baby brother.

But on the other hand, he has the kindest, most tender, sweetest heart of any 15 year old I know. He cares about his family and friends very deeply. He is even kind and compassionate to strangers. He has one of those sparkling personalities that you just can't but help but love. When he was little, I used to tell him, jokingly, "It's a good thing you are so cute or I'd have to kill you!" Probably not the best thing to say to a child but I always said it with a smile and I know he knew I wasn't totally serious.

I occasionally get to be in the car with one of my boys and we can have a great talk. This has been one of the many blessings that has come from working our new business. Today I had the chance to ride in the car with Josh for about 45 minutes. He will just blurt out what is on his mind, right in the middle of his train of thought. It is so hilariously random sometimes! He had me almost crying with laughter.

We were following a truck with a Transformers sticker in the back window. Out of nowhere and all of a sudden, he burst out with, "If I were a Transformer, I think I would want to be a boat."

A little bit before that we were listening to my Zune on shuffle. I have a very eclectic taste in music. One minute we could be listening to Fall Out Boy, the next we could be listening to the Beach Boys. On this trip I told Josh he could have two "skips". That means he can skip a song he doesn't like and I can't stop him, even if it is a song I love. Michael Jackson's "Beat It" came on. We were almost home and he hadn't used a single skip yet. He was tempted to push the button. I stopped him, explaining that this song was cool because Eddie VanHalen played the guitar in that song. He looked at me very puzzled and asked, "Were they alive at the same time? Isn't Michael Jackson dead?" This from the boy who spent a whole month listening to nothing but Queen's greatest hits. I thought I had done such a great job musically educating him in Classic Rock. I guess I have more work to do.

All day today I had been in the car, rushing here and there. Busy, busy, busy. I got quite a bit accomplished on those trips but none of them were nearly as much fun or filled with laughter as the last trip with my baby. Our journey was a bust in a few ways. There was lots of "drive home" traffic. We got lost and even after we found the home we needed, we didn't even end up putting up the sign. But we had a great time on the journey. We talked and laughed and enjoyed that 45 minutes.

What lessons can we learn from that? Quit rushing through life! Spend some time with your loved ones. Have conversations with your kids. Or better yet, close your mouth and open your mind and ears when you are with your kids. You will get a better insight to their hearts and thoughts. They might be more willing to open their mouths and hearts to you if you learn how to listen. Find the joy in your journey.

Happy trails!